


Wake Me Up Before You... Uh-oh...

by HoltzmannRadioTimes



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Erin's ghosts of Christmas past continue to haunt her, F/F, First Christmas, Fluff and Angst, Holtz freaking LOVES Christmas, Holtzbert Secret Santa, Holtzbert Secret Santa 2017, Hurt/Comfort, Maybe a Christmas proposal?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 12:58:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13236216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoltzmannRadioTimes/pseuds/HoltzmannRadioTimes
Summary: Erin has back luck with Christmas; no matter how hard she tries, it always ends up ruined. An overly enthusiastic Holtzmann has a surprise lined up for Erin, but will she be able make things go well enough to get them to the end of the night, or will this Christmas be just another page in Erin's book of disappointments?AKAThe Christmas where everything went as expected and yet unexpectedly all at the same time.





	Wake Me Up Before You... Uh-oh...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cosmotronic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmotronic/gifts).



> My Secret Santa recipient this year is @Cosmotronic! I'm a big, big fan of your work and I was so excited to get you. Thanks for all the great Holtzbert fic. Merry Christmas, I hope you like it. :)

Erin came into view through a billow of steam, ushered on by the handful of subway surfers trudging up the stairs behind her.

People bustled all around, departing to destinations unknown in hailed cabs and quick sprints into nearby establishments.

Erin was headed to the Firehouse to spend Christmas with Holtzmann.

The overall mood had been slightly less murky than usual on the train ride over, and she chalked it up to good old fashion holiday spirit.

Christmas was no doubt good for some things.

As she walked to the corner with her arms full of presents, a chill swirled up her legs with the December air.

She was feeling cute in her mohair coat that was cinched around the waist, and was the definition of lovely in her simple white scarf that she’d had for years piled high up to her ears.

She’d decided to throw on a red beret to top it all off and show a little extra festive effort for Holtzmann.

 

_Look good, feel good, right?_

 

This was their first Christmas as a couple, though not their first Christmas since they’ve known each other.

Last year, the whole Ghostbusting gang spent the holidays apart on a much needed two-week sabbatical courtesy of the Mayor and the fine folks down at city hall.

Patty spent Christmas with her brother’s family spoiling her nieces and nephews rotten, Abby’s parents had come to stay with her for the week, and Holtzmann, well… no one knows where Holtzmann went, but she was still singing Christmas carols when they reconvened at New Years.

Erin’s Christmas that year was more hibernation than celebration, as per her usual.

She had accepted a singular invitation to dinner with Abby & Co., but for the most part she holed herself up enjoying some much neglected trade publications and sipping chai tea in the window seat of her flat uptown.

Watching the snow fall was so much more enjoyable, she thought, when one didn’t have to venture out into it.

Erin found herself less and less in the holiday spirit the older she got, but the one thing that still held magic for her was that she did love a white Christmas.

This Christmas came with a lot more responsibility, however.

 

Stopping just short of the curb, she stared up at the firehouse across the street and sighed heavily.

Erin was not inclined to celebrate Christmas herself; she’d not had much luck with it over the years and so her energies were better directed elsewhere.

Erin’s petit paramour, however, positively _lived_ for the holiday.

You could nearly see tears in Holtzmann’s eyes when she realized she would be celebrating her favorite holiday with her favorite girl for the first time.

Erin had decided to go along for the ride, whatever may come, and resolved that this Christmas was for Holtzmann.

She would give her the world if she could.

 

Holtzmann made everything more bearable.

Erin hadn’t thought much about the holiday leading up to it, if she was being honest.

In fact, it had completely slipped her mind until the bell went off in Holtzmann’s head, or, as was the actual case, until the alarm went off on Holtzmann’s phone.... a daily alert she had set to count down the days beginning the moment the thanksgiving turkey had been eaten.

Erin thought back to last Christmas, how it was just like any other day, lovely and lazy and... lonely.

Their break from ghostbusting was welcome but when she thought about it, she had to admit it would have been even more lovely and lazy and not so lonely, even memorable maybe, had she been able to share it with Holtzmann.

But then again, every holiday Erin touched seemed to tarnish so perhaps it was for the best they they hadn’t.

They were nowhere near being together back then, as far as Erin could tell (Holtzmann would not have declined an invitation to tea, truth be told), but she was looking forward to this Christmas a little more than usual for one reason and one reason alone- Holtzmann.

“If I can get through today without messing things up, it’ll be a Christmas miracle. Please…” she whispered to whatever powers were listening, “…don’t let my bad luck rub off on Holtzmann.“

 

**> >~~~~~~~<<**

 

Meanwhile, just across the street, through the big red door, a very sugared-up and caffeinated Holtzmann was putting the finishing touches on the Firehouse’s Christmas decorations.

She stood, thick-socked and flannel-overshirted in her underwear in the middle of the front room of their headquarters, surveying the Christmas Kingdom before her.

Paper snowflakes hung on long stretches of fishing line from the high ceiling, a big red wreath very like their logo with a ghost popping out hung over the fireplace, and lashes of garland and Christmas lights adorned the bannister and curved all the way down the fire pole.

“Shoulda maybe given that one a second thought…” she remarked with a shrug.

The radio played Wham! loudly over the intercom and she bobbed her head in thought.

Holtzmann was halfway through a candy cane sticking out of her mouth, which made whistling along with “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” nearly impossible, but she attempted it undauntedly.

Her fingers drummed absent-mindedly on her hip as she checked off her mental list of to-do’s in anticipation of Erin’s arrival.

Tree? _Check_.

Christmas snacks? _Check_.

Christmas week off for Kevin? _Double check._

Abby recently confided in Holtzmann the hint of a secret that wasn’t really hers to share. Holtz had been laying out all the holiday festivities she had planned to enjoy with her girlfriend as she and Abby split a meatball sub one afternoon.

“Holtz, you love Christmas...”

“Love Christmas? I _**LOVE**_ Christmas.”

“Exactly. Um. Hmm... How do I put this delicately…? Erin... your girlfriend…”

“I’m familiar...”

“Erin isn’t a really “Christmas person.”

“Ooh…Christmas Person sounds like my new favorite holiday horror movie. What do you mean ‘not a Christmas person’? Who doesn’t like Christmas?”

“She’s just… she doesn’t really care for it... She’s had a rough streak of holidays in her life. Every time she gets her hopes up they’re dashed. So, it’s turned into just another day for her, unfortunately. If you’re going to go big, like you do, and that’s fine... maybe just keep that in mind. I don’t want you to get _your_ hopes dashed, bud. Try not to spook her, is all I’m saying.”

Holtzmann chewed the inside of her cheek and let this unbelievable notion wash over her.

She pondered it for days- Her greatest loves at odds with one another.

No matter, though, she resolved to show Erin that a Holtzmann Christmas was worth the price of admission.

Holtzmann had a plan.

There was no way to ruin this Christmas, as far as she was concerned.

She hung two stockings by the fire with care and smiled proudly.

“Done. Now, let’s put some pants on.”

 

**> >~~~~~~~<<**

 

Back outside, Erin looked both ways before skipping over an icy puddle, crossing the street. With each step closer to the door the more at odds the thoughts in her mind became.

Flashback to Christmas when she was seven, sitting alone in front of the tv while both her parents worked.

Then, Sophomore year of college when her then-boyfriend broke up with her right before Christmas vacation so he wouldn’t have to buy her a present.

And of course how could she forget her favorite Christmas two years ago when Phil told her about a beautiful necklace he almost bought her…

 

_Almost._

 

These were only some of Erin’s Christmas memories, but the rest weren’t much different. The only thing that ever made her feel like there was some magic still in it, is when it snowed on Christmas Eve. It hadn’t happened in a long time, usually the week before or after, so that was just one more thing to not hold her breath about.

Now, here she was, it was Christmas once again and she was spending it with someone whose happiness meant more to her than anything.

She had to suck it up for Holtzmann.

Looking down at the parcels in her grip, it made her smile to think how happy Holtz was going to be when she opened them.

Erin might not be a Christmas person, but she sure was a good-gift-giver.

Hidden within the beautiful subdued taupe and silver papers were a wealth of lovely offerings she had picked out just for Holtz… a book of poems by Erin’s favorite author, (Holtzmann didn’t really care for poetry, as Erin believed, she just loved anything Erin loved)…A lanyard for the utilitarian purpose of hopefully allowing Holtzmann to not misplace her keys as quite as often…A bracelet that Holtzmann had seen at the children’s museum gift shop once, but was unable to purchase before they got called out on a bust… And, finally, a little Lego version of them. Yep, a Lego Erin and Lego Holtzmann that someone online had made.

_Sometimes being a superhero was pretty cool._

While Christmas wasn’t anything special to her, she kept reminding herself to make a concerted effort not to be cynical around her girlfriend, which was already proving hard to do while prepping their Christmas dinner the night before.

Holtzmann was as incorrigible as a child… getting in the way, wanting to lick the spoon, interjecting unsolicited Christmas trivia tidbits into their conversation…

Normally this would have been expected behavior that Erin would find endearing, but compounded with the weight of the holiday it was a little too much.

Though, she did have to admit that it was all very sweet, Holtzmann and her affinity for all things yuletide. She’d just have to allow herself to lighten up.

Because she had spent the entire previous afternoon prepping food for dinner, she figured if she could control that at least, she’d be in good shape. Plus, prepping the day before would leave more time for the things Holtzmann was no doubt planning for them to do.

(Abby may have had a similar talk with Erin about giving Christmas the old college try this year. For Holtzmann, of course.)

In any case, she was happy she had remembered to chill the wine before she left the night before; she was going to need it.

“Well… here goes nothing.” Erin reached for the door handle and pressed her body into it. It didn’t budge.

“Ah, yes, pull! Fool me once… ” She laughed in spite of herself, and tried the door again.

No dice.

“What the…?”

Erin tilted her head at the lock and then looked up into the shadow of the building as if to make sure she hadn’t somehow gone to the _wrong_ firehouse in Tribeca.

She shifted the presents in her arms and tried knocking but no answer came.

Inside, Erin could hear music playing and rapped louder a second time.

“Holtzmann!” she shouted with a bang of her fist.

What followed was the hasty thumping of muted footsteps from inside, then the music went silent.

Finally, a sing-songy voice came from within…

“Who is it, Erin?”

“Obviously you know who it is, Holtzmann, let me in.”

“I can’t do that, Erin…”

Erin rolled her eyes, “And why not?”

“Because it’ll ruin the surprise, Erin!”

“Well, it’ll stay a surprise forever if you don’t let me in.”

“Oooh, good point!”

Erin heard a _click-click-chain-scraaape_ and then the door cracked open a bit.

Holtzmann popped her head and shoulders out the door, blocking Erin’s view of the inside.

Hiding her sleepy, bloodshot eyes, a very industrial-looking pair of goggles rested atop her face.

They sat in contrast, of course, to the cute candy cane curving out of her mouth, which punctuated the dimple of her cheek ever so nicely; a dimple of which Erin was quite fond.

Erin forgot her annoyance at once; Holtzmann’s smile could cure a cold.

“Erin!” Holtz exclaimed as though she was genuinely surprised to see her, taking the candy cane from out her cheek.

“Hello, Holtz. Did you get any sleep last night?”

“Not a wink! But it’s ok, I have a surprise for you. Come in... No! WAIT! Just… wait…Ummm…”

She looked behind her concernedly.

“Can you close your eyes? Please?”

Erin smiled and did as instructed, allowing Holtzmann to take her arm and lead her over the threshold into the warmth of the firehouse.

Erin could smell the peppermint on Holtzmann’s breath as she very gently navigated them to the center of the room, setting Erin in place.

“Let me just… take these for you” Holtz said through her candied teeth as she relieved Erin of her haul, setting them down carefully.

She kissed Erin’s cheek and whispered “Count to five and then open ‘em, ok?”

Erin nodded.

Holtz quickly took a Santa hat from her back pocket and placed it on her head as she rushed into place at the foot of a giant Christmas tree.

She had spent all night decorating and it made for a beautifully imposing picture in the corner of the room.

Forget Christmas morning, no, tomorrow was the last thing on her mind. Holtzmann had been looking forward to today for a long time.

“Now?”

“Now.”

Erin opened her eyes and instantly lost her breath.

The snowflakes, the garland, the lights… It was almost too much to take in.

Holtzmann had definitely been up all night.

Erin’s heart soared.

The tree she saw before her was at least twelve feet tall and decked out with three different kinds of…

…wait…is that tinsel?

Where did she get tinsel…?

The tree was beautiful, but had way more lights than necessary (of course), and a slew of intricate looking mismatched ornaments.

Holtzmann cleared her throat and punctuated her pose with a placement of one hand on her hip, as the other swung an axe up onto her shoulder.

The flannel, the axe, the whole of it made Holtzmann look like the Brawny woman in the commercials.

Erin laughed at the awkwardness of her tartan’d lover now doing her best Captain Morgan with her foot up on a log.

“Are you implying with that pose that you cut this tree down yourself?” Erin beseeched, pointing to the log in question.

“Maaaaybe.”

“Well, did you?”

Holtzmann relaxed and mulled the question over introspectively.

“No, but to give the illusion that I had, I needed to paint a certain picture, you see. Hence the log. Would it have impressed you?”

“By the placement of that stump, it gives the appearance that the tree had grown up through the floor overnight. Impressed might not be the right word. Scared, maybe.? We don’t currently have any radiation leaks that would warrant a tree sprouting up so quickly do we, Holtzmann?”

“That’s classified. Just kidding. No, of course not…. not anything to speak of anyway. Come ‘ere.”

Erin slowly made her way to the tree. “Holtzmann this... this is so beautiful. I love the snowflakes.”

“I wanted to give you a white Christmas. Abby said that was your favorite thing.”

She moved closer to Holtzmann, taking her hand in hers with a smile.

Gently reaching up to touch one of the ornaments, Erin inquired of their origin.

“You made all these didn’t you?”

“Excellent guess, my elf. I did indeed. Every Christmas I make one that represents my favorite thing about the year.”

She moved around to the other side of Erin to point to one in particular.

“This one’s my favorite. It’s from the best year of my life.”

Erin took note of the ornament. It looked to be hand-blown glass, drop-shaped and clear, it was beautiful, but simple in appearance. Its only notable feature being that inside the bulb was a length of braided purple ribbon. Erin thought it looked peculiar and pretty all at the same time; so very Holtzmann, and yet not.

Erin wondered of the ornament’s significance. There’d be plenty of time to talk about that.

“Is the tree and decorations my surprise? Because I love it.” Erin said, beaming at her girlfriend who was admiring the tree herself.

“You-betcha! But, that’s not all, not by a long shot. Come on!”

Holtzmann grabbed Erin’s hand and took her on a whirlwind tour of the firehouse.

The blonde’s heart was racing, trying to keep calm.

 

_She._

_Was._

_Just._

_So._

_Excited!_

 

First stop was the fireplace.

“Look, I got us matching stockings... One for you, and one for me.”

Erin leaned in playfully for a peek over their tops prompting Holtzmann to goose her backside.

“Holtzmann!”

“Hey! Don’t look... yet...those are for later…”

Erin found her smile growing by the moment.

“…and over here, another surprise…”

Holtz pulled Erin over to a workbench by the stairs where she uncovered a gift basket full of a myriad of hot chocolate-making accoutrement.

“Look, I procured these excellent snowman mugs, which seemed most festive, considering; there’s marshmallows, extra candy canes because I’ve eaten my of my stash already… and some bigger marshmallows… Can’t have too many marshmallows. Oh! And there’s like five different kinds of hot chocolate in here, too. What kind do you want to try? Mint? Caramel? There’s like a raspberry one in here…Dibs on the double chocolate…”

“That’s ok, Holtz, I’m really more of a tea person…” Erin joked.

Holtzmann wilted slightly, “Well…I know. I just thought…since it was Christmas…”

Realizing her misstep Erin cut Holtzmann off immediately.

“Ooh, you know what? Actually raspberry sounds fun.”

She pulled the pink packet from the basket and clutched it to her chest playfully.

“This will be perfect for an after-dinner cuddle tonight,” she said bringing a smile back to Holtzmann’s face. “Alright. What’s next?”

“Well, I thought we could decorate cookies!” the platinum pixy exclaimed with a crazy big grin.

“Except, of course, we gotta make the cookies first,” she whispered with consternation.  
“BUT! Look there’s icing and sprinkles and these little silver ball thingys that look better than they taste, and… the piece de resistance. Hold onto your panties, Erin…”

“I’m white-knuckling it, Holtz, don’t worry.”

“What goes better with cookie decorating thaaaaan….”

Holtz made a motion for Erin to stay put and scurried into a nearby utility closet.

From it she produced an old record player. “…thaaaan music! Look what I found! It took like five minutes to fix up. Good as new,” she said proudly as she set it down on atop the nearby kitchen counter.

“Now that’s impressive, Holtzmann! How fun is this?” Erin moved in for a closer look. “It sorta looks like one I had as a kid. I love this.”

“I got us a bunch of records to listen to too. All the Christmas classics, DEVO, The Clash, Toto…”

“Holtzmann…”

“Yes, my mistletoe monkey.”

“Those aren’t Christmas classics, silly…”

Holtzmann stared blankly back at her and blinked slowly. Erin could almost see a 404 Error Not Found message scrolling in the engineer’s eyes.

“Toto is too Christmas-y….”

“You sure about that?”

“…But…Africa…”

Erin shook her head at the blonde’s insistence causing Holtzmann to produce a most pathetic pout.

“Well, they we’re at my house…” she mumbled dejectedly under her breath, fumbling with the power cord.

Strike two. Erin realized she’d maybe gone just a little too far with that one.

“Oh, honey, you know what, you’re right. That marimba’s absolutely Christmas-y.”

Holtzmann perked up. “Yes! Exactly! Marimba…”

Why are you like this, Erin…?

Holtz made some marimba sounds as she plugged in the record player, seemingly forgetting the entire situation.

Placing a record on the turntable and carefully setting the needle, she held her breath in anticipation.

“Are you ready?”

“For Toto?”

“For Toto.”

“Absolutely.”

Holtzmann stretched her fingers and turned it on….

Nothing happened.

“Uhh wuh woah…” She tried the button a few more times in rapid succession. Still nothing.

Erin peered over Holtzmann’s shoulder with shared concern. “What happened?”

“Inconclusive. It worked fine the other day.”

Holtz scratched her head and thought really hard to troubleshoot the issue.

She put an ear up to it and hit the switch again.

“I don’t even hear any electricity running to it. Must have tripped a breaker.”

“That’s an easy fix, right?” Erin offered.

Holtz got up and began to pace.

“Hmm. I tripped a breaker last night when I was testing the tree lights in this outlet over here,” she said pointing to an outlet that still had a bundle of unused lights piled up in front of it.

I wonder if it tripped again since then,” Holtzmann postulated while her finger traced the firehouse’s circuits in her mind.

“I wonder what else is on that breaker…”

Walking into the kitchen, she flipped on the light switch. Nothing happened.

“Uh-oh.”

She went to the microwave, the clock was out.

“Uh-oh.”

Then she went to the fridge and opened the door, slamming it almost immediately.

“UH-OH.”

Erin looked on in horror.

“Holtzmann… what do you mean, uh-oh?”

“Erin… ok… I need you to stay calm…”

“What do you mean uh-oh?” she repeated with a twinge of panic, and pushed Holtzmann out of the way of the fridge throwing the door back open.

Upon inspection she could see that the interior light wasn’t on.

Putting a hand inside she felt the fridge was not only not cold, it wasn’t even cool.

She reached in and pulled out the Cornish game hens she had prepared the day before.

“Holtzmann! They’re warm! Oh, my God! And the mashed potatoes… and the… egg nog…”

“Nooo, not the egg nog…” Holtzmann echoed.

“It’s ruined. All of it. Christmas dinner…”

Holtzmann began to panic too. “Babe… I am SO sorry…”

Erin let out an exasperated laugh an leaned her palms on the table. Holtzmann circled around to her side and put a hand on her back. Erin bristled at the touch.

“This is it. This is exactly it. Why did I think it would be any different this time?”

“Babe…?”

“Holtzmann, I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? This is my fault.”

“No, it’s not. I see why you think that, but this is my bad luck rubbing off on you.”

“You’re not bad luck, babe. This is all fine.”

“No, it’s not fine. It’s all ruined.”

“I’ll… I know! I’ll buy you new stuff… I’ll just run out…” Holtzmann grabbed her coat from a hook on the wall but Erin stopped her.

“No, I’ll go.” She sighed, half laughing. “You won’t know what to get. Plus, I need to get out of here.”

She looked around dejectedly. “Why don’t you stay here and bake the cookies while I’m gone? I’ll need to use the oven when I get back.”

“Ok. Yea. Yea, I can do that. It’s gonna be fine.”

“Yea. Sure. I’ll be back.”

Erin cinched up her belt and went back into the brisk winter air. The streets seemed less crowded now, she thought. Most people were well into their Christmas Even festivities, she supposed.

Holtzmann watched Erin disappear down the sidewalk, then closed the door with a sigh, sinking down against it, lamentably.

She felt absolutely terrible. Here she was, trying to make Christmas great for Erin, and she ended up ruining the one thing Erin was truly excited about.

She’s gotta make things right. She’ll bake the cookies and then do whatever she can to help Erin make dinner when she returns.

All she needed to do was get them through to the end of the night and everything would be ok. There was one more surprise in store, and there was no way anyone could screw that up, she told herself.

Holtzmann reset the breakers and made sure everything was back online before setting in on the cookies.

She knocked out two dozen sugary shapes looking like bells, trees, and ornaments, making sure to eat as few as possible before baking them.

After placing the baking sheets in the oven, she turned on the interior light and sat herself down to stare at the cookies through the glass door, waiting for them to bake.

Only problem was Holtzmann was so sleepy, having been up all night decorating, that she could barely keep her eyes open at this point.

As the minutes that felt like hours ticked on she thought ‘Maybe I’ll just lay here on the floor. I’ll set an alarm to take them out.’

After a minute or two laying prostrate across the tile Holtzmann promptly and most unfortunately succumbed to her exhaustion and fell into a deep sleep.

 

**> >~~~~~~~<<**

 

Erin had no luck at the market. She even went to two others as well, finding everything worth buying long since purchased and gone to kitchens near and far, and with no chance of being restocked anytime soon either.

Her holiday luck had struck again.

She was so upset she couldn’t even think straight and marched back to the firehouse completely crestfallen in addition to empty-handed.

When she opened the door she was met with the distressing smell of smoke.

“Holtzmann!!!” she cried out as she ran into the firehouse, fearing the worst.

Stumbling to the kitchen with her scarf shielding her face from the smoke, she spotted Holtzmann passed out on the floor.

“Oh, my God!”

This exclamation started Holtzmann from her nap, sending her instantly into a similar panic when she saw the smoke coming from the oven.

Holtzmann’s timer had stopped who knows how long ago and the cookies were long since done.

Without thinking she reached up to pull the oven door open, bringing it down on her head hard with a clang.

Both women reacted audibly to the antics.

Rubbing her head, Holtzmann scrambled up to get a proper grip on the situation, opening the oven and instantly filling the kitchen with smoke.

Erin ran to the window and threw it open, hoping to encourage the smoke to dissipate.

“Holtzmann! You couldn’t smell the smoke?”

“Erin! Everything in my life smells like smoke.”

“Well, that’s distressing!” Erin exclaimed in return.

Holtzmann turned the oven off and grabbed a tea towel to protect her hands from the scalding hot metal of the baking sheet as she retrieved the burning mess from the oven.

“Shit!” she hissed, as the towel did basically nothing to keep her hands safe, dropping the metal and blackened cookies on the counter.

Erin winced as Holtzmann shook her hands and ran to the sink to put them under water.

“Oh, sweetheart… are you ok?”

“Never better…” Holtzmann spat from between gritted teeth.

“Holtz, why didn’t the fire detector go off?”

“I took them all out.”

“You what??”

“Why does a firehouse need fire detectors?”

Erin looked horrified.

“I’m kidding. They were going off every day and it was getting annoying.”

“Holtzmann, you could have been killed.”

Holtzmann responded in a mocking tone “RIP Jillian Holtzmann, she died doing what she loved - making cookies for her smoking hot girlfriend.”

Erin swatted her arm, accidentally hitting one of her hands on the retrieval, causing Holtzmann to yelp.

“Ahh! I’m sorry!” Erin yelped back, matching Holtzmann’s pitch.

Holtzmann looked down at her red and aching fingers with the saddest eyes.

“Come on. Let’s me bandage you up…” Erin said, carefully guiding Holtzmann to the stairs.

“You can rebuild me! We have the technology!” the burned blonde blurted as they climbed to the second floor.

 

**> >~~~~~~~<<**

 

Holtzmann sat on the bathroom counter and swung her legs while she watched Erin tend to her wounds.

Erin, on the other hand, had momentarily forgotten about the whole dinner situation and was lovingly giving Holtzmann’s triage all her attention.

Holtzmann beamed as though this was all part of her plan, as just being near Erin was all she’d ever need anyway.

A strand of hair hung down from Erin’s ponytail as she learned over Hotlzmann’s marred paws, making Holtzmann wish she had a hand free to tuck it gently back behind her lover’s ear.

How did she get so lucky?

Erin perhaps subconsciously felt Holtzmann staring because she blew the hair out of her face, ultimately pushing the strand back behind her ear herself, making Holtzmann smile.

With as much care and precision as a surgeon, Erin gently applied burn cream and bandages to both of Holtzmann’s poor hands.

It would come as no surprise that this was not not her first rodeo.

“I’’m sorry you got burned, Holtz, but you really need to be more careful.”

“Eh, I’ve had worse.”

Erin put the finishing touches on her project.

“There, all better,” she remarked, taking a step back to admire her work.

“I literally could not be more in love with you. Smoking hot and a nurse? Yes, please.”

“Maybe we can play doctor later,” Erin leaned in, teasing the fabric of Holtzmann’s collar.

“Oooh. A little dessert after dinner? Good thing we don’t have any cookies to ruin out appetite.”

“Oh, shoot!” Erin smacked her head in realization. “I totally forgot about dinner.”

“Didn’t you go to the store?”

“I didn’t find anything! Everything was sold out.”

“…Oh, shoot.”

Erin threw her arms in exasperation and leaned back against the wall, covering her face with her hands.

“Hey, hey, hey… No… it’s gonna be ok.”

“Everything’s ruined,” she choked, surrendering to the tears she had felt coming all morning.

“No, it’s not. Hey… look at me.” Holtz drew her finger up under Erin’s chin raising her gaze to meet her eyes and wiped an errant tear from her cheek.

“We live in the most culturally diverse city in the world. If you don’t think I can’t get us some Chinese food here in like a half hour, you’ve got another think coming…”

Erin laughed at that. “Chinese food does sound good.”  
“Then it’s settled. Tonight we dine like Christmas Queens! Though you might have to dial for me, I seem to have lost the use of my hands under these bandages.”

Erin did just that.

They ordered Dim Sum and lo mien, sweet and sour chicken, cashew shrimp, and crab rangoon “…for Santa’s reindeer!” at Holtzmann’s request.

The white wine Erin had stashed in the fridge had cooled again since Holtzmann turned the breakers back on, and they ate and drank with avidity.

“I’m so sorry, Erin. The fridge… the cookies… I’ve been trying so hard to make today special for you and I ended up doing the opposite.”

“Special for me? Holt this really isn’t your fault,” Erin replied, pushing a shrimp around her plate with her chop sticks.

“It’s completely my fault! I should have been more carful. Classic bonehead move not checking all the breakers for weaknesses. Come December 26th, though, I’m gonna replace the whole panel and wrap it up with a bow.”

“No, I’m serious. I’m just bad luck. Everything I touch turns to coal.”

“I could claim the same, you know.”

“Not even. If anything’s ruined, it’s your Christmas.”

“Whaaaat? Ugh, Erin….and I mean this in the most loving way possible… shut your beautiful mouth. This is the greatest Christmas I’ve ever had! Do you have any idea how happy I am that I’m here with you? Who cares about dinner, or cookies, or any of this?” She took Erin’s hand and gestured to all the decorations with the other.

“The only thing that matters is that I love Erin. And Erin loves me. You’re the only present I need.”

Holtz shoved her plate aside and lunged at Erin knocking her over, capturing her in a playful embrace.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Holtz waggled her brows.

They both answered Holtz’ question simultaneously.

“Doctor?”        “Dance Party.”

“Dance party?” Erin laughed, letting her head drop to the floor.

“Of course dance party, we got all night to do that other stuff! Come on, I’ll get that record player going. _For real_ this time.”

Holtzmann ran to retrieve the record player and brought it in, setting it down next to the tree.

“Any requests?”

“Did I hear you mention The Clash earlier?”

“Did I just hear you request Rock The Casbah? Gilbert, you're making my dreams come true.”

Holtz pulled the record from its sleeve as though it was a most precious jewel and set it on the turntable.

“Second time’s a charm,” she whispered for good luck, hitting the power switch.

The record player, thankfully, kicked into gear. The needle set and Holtzmann breathed a sigh of relief when the vinyl began to crackle beneath it. She had to do a couple resets to find the desired song though, she always found vinyl a little tricky, but once she got it was time to boogie.

Holtz turned to look at Erin, who had started moving the second the music picked up. She looked so beautiful in the glow of the Christmas lights, Holtzmann thought.

“Come here, baby…” Holtz stood and gyrated in Erin’s direction, performing that “fishing” dance move which made Erin roll her eyes, but the brunette played along anyway.

“You up for a little dirty dancing?” Holtzmann suggested, moving in close and throwing Erin’s arms around her neck.

“Is there any other kind, with you?”

“Good point.”

Erin nuzzled into Holtz’ shoulder and they swayed to the music.

Their hips moved together, closing the distance between them as the song played. Not really a dancing song, really, but they moved to their own beat anyway.

They twirled and laughed and Erin was once again able to forget her troubles for a moment.

When the record advanced to the next song Holtz gave out a whoop and did her best Elvis pelvis, grabbing Erin’s hand and spinning her around.

Erin laughed. She felt weightless. Even after the day she’d had she was suddenly light and free in Holtzmann’s arms.

Unexpectedly, Holtz went in for a tickle, making Erin scream with delight. Then tickling made way for a little playful chase around the living room.

Erin circled one way around the coffee table, with Holtzmann countering.

“There’s no escape, Gilbert!”

Erin leapt over the back of the couch and playfully threw a pillow at Holtzmann in defense.

This only riled Holtz up more and she ran around the back of the couch laughing maniacally, staying just far enough behind Erin that she was “almost” catching her to prolong the game.

Erin squealed and tried to escape between the coffee table and the tree, but she tripped over the record player, bring the music to a screeching halt and falling slightly into the tree….

…Causing some of Holtzmann’s handmade ornaments to come crashing down…

….Causing Holtzmann’s favorite ornament to hit the cement and shatter…

A nightmare was unfolding before Erin’s eyes in slow motion, like the flickering of a movie projector, and there was nothing Erin could do to stop it.

When Erin’s world came rushing back to reality both women stood in silence, gaping at the broken mess on the floor.

Erin looked at Holtz with wide, panicked eyes, and her hands came up to cover her mouth. She was speechless. Holtzmann laughed then was was the first to speak. “Are you ok?”

“Yes, I’m ok. But your ornaments aren’t! Why are you laughing?”

Holtzmann leaned down and collected a few pieces from the ground.

“Don’t move, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Holtzmann…”

“It’s ok, let me clean this up real quick.”

This had been the straw that broke Erin’s heart. The tears were coming in full force now, as she collapsed on an ottoman.

“Why is my whole fucking life like this?”

Holtz quickly dropped the pieces she’d collected and knelt dow in front of Erin taking her in her arms.

“What? No…”

“I ruined everything… I ruined Christmas…”

“Erin, it’s just an ornament…”

“No, it’s everything!” She threw Holtzmann’s arms away and stood, moving toward the door.

It was bad enough that Christmas was always ruined for her, but now she was ruining it for Holtzmann, too.

“You…don’t fucking deserve this. I’m sorry…”

Holtzmann followed a few steps in her direction and laughed nervously, trying to break the tension. But the closer she got, the more Erin looked like a cornered animal.

“Baby, it’s fine, really.”

“Holtzmann…I… I have to go,” Erin sobbed, grabbing her coat and slipping into her boots.

“What?”

“I can’t bear this getting any worse for you. I... I need to be where people are not.”

Erin gave Holtzmann one long last look, her face run over with intention but she had no words with which to illustrate any of it.

She opened the door and ran out into the night.

Holtzmann helplessly watched her disappear from the doorway.

“Shit…”

 

**> >~~~~~~~<<**

 

Erin’s mind was racing, she didn’t even know where she was going.

The streets were empty, thankfully, and her boots echoed down the street in front of the firehouse.

Cooled tears ran down her cheek and she stopped for a moment to catch them.

Today had been a disaster in every way.

Why did she think this year was going to be any different?

I should have just stayed away.

She was broken from her preoccupation by the sound of fast footfalls behind her.

A voice rang out “Erin! Wait!”

Erin hung her head.

“Erin…” Holtz breathlessly implored, as she closed the distance between them.

“You can’t leave.”

“Why? Are you hoping for one more episode of the _Erin Gilbert Holiday Shitshow_?”

Holtzmann laughed, “Whaaat?”

“What do you want, Holtzmann?”

“You…” she took a breath, “You forgot something.”

Erin turned around to face her, finally.

Holtzmann was standing there, boots untied, no jacket, already shivering, holding out one of the stockings from the fireplace in her bandaged hands.

“What?”

“You can’t leave yet. You didn’t open you stocking.”

Erin furrowed her brow, exasperated. Of course Holtzmann would be focused on some other mundane detail besides the disaster that had just occurred.

“Not tonight, Holtzmann. I’ll come back tomorrow, when Christmas is over.”

“NO!” came a quick response, startling Erin with her tone. “I mean… Please?”

Erin looked at her curiously, what was the meaning of this? It all seemed so out of character.

She had just destroyed something Holtzmann loved and now the blonde was standing there pleading with her to check her stocking in the middle of the street? Nothing else about this day made sense so…

“Why not…?”

Erin sighed, walking back to Holtzmann.

“Um, I’m gonna need your help though. I can’t quite manage with these bandages on my hands.”

Holtz held the stocking out, like a child waiting for a toy to be wound up.

Erin took the stocking and reached down into it. She felt a small item near the bottom and retrieved it. It was a small black box.

“Holtzmann… is this… is this what I think…”

Holtzmann took the box from Erin’s hand and nodded.

“Yes. And thank you,” Holtzmann offered, then carefully dropped down on bended knee there in the middle of the street.

“I have a question for you, my love…” She opened the box, revealing a brilliant ring inside, which was only outshone by Holtzmann’s accompanying smile.

Erin gasped and nearly went down on her own knees in surprise.

There, under the street lights and silent night, Holtzmann recounted to Erin every wonderful thing she loved about her; about them.

“Erin, that ornament that broke…”

_Why are you brining up the ornament?_

“That ornament was my favorite because it represents my favorite year. Do you know when that was?”

Erin shook her head.

“It was the year I met you. So, not too long ago. That braided bit of ribbon inside was from the Christmas present you gave me last year. I never wanted to let go of it because if came from you. But I want you to know that everything that has happened since then has been a million times better, because I got to share it all with you.

Holtzmann took Erin’s hand, still holding the box in the other.

“Erin, it doesn’t matter what happened today… any of it… because you were here with me. Like any day, bad things can happen, but we have each other, and that makes all the difference. I can face anything with you by my side. Christmas or not, I’m for you, and you’re for me.”

Holtzmann’s voice began to crack, fighting her own tears.

“Erin… will you be my forever companion? Will you marry me?”

“Yes! Yes, Holtzmann I’ll marry you! Today and every day.”

Holtzmann sobbed in relief, but looking at the bandages, grimaced slightly.

“Um, you may have to do this yourself…” she said making Erin laugh.

She took the box from her genuflected girlfriend and on the ring went.

Erin pulled Holtzmann back up and hugged her tight, cheek to cheek, tears mingling on both womens’ faces.

They kissed soundly there in the street lights, shielding each other from the night air.

Erin opened her coat, inviting Holtzmann to cuddle in closer, where they kissed some more.

Holtzmann broke the kiss first.

“There’s one more thing… take another look in that stocking.”

Erin looked at Holtzmann curiously and reached back in to pull out an ornament.

It was carved into the shape of a snowflake and on it, hand painted in white and silver, it said “Our First Christmas.”

“You know… for a white Christmas. Just like you like.”

“Oh, Holtzmann…” Erin’s heart melted.

“I’m glad this worked out because I didn’t have a backup ornament, if you’d said no. Might’ve just set the whole tree on fire.”

“Well, if that happened, I’d hope you’d do it outside because, as we now know, there are no smoke alarms inside the firehouse.”

“Excellent point.”

Erin looked down at the ornament in her hand and realized that everything Holtzmann said was true. It didn’t matter if today had a disaster, or any other day; there was no storm that they couldn’t weather together.

And with another kiss, the most remarkable thing happened….

_…It began to snow._

Erin squealed with delight when she spotted the first flakes that had fallen on Holtz’ eyelashes. Erin threw her head back, elated.

“Ah, right on time!” Holtzmann mused, smiling the same impish smile she’d had when pretending to have cut down the Christmas tree herself.

“My hero!” Erin flung her arms around Holtz’ neck and laughed, prompting Holtzmann to pick her fiancé up and swing her around as the snow fell.

The moment could not have been more perfect.

“Merry Christmas Erin.”

“Merry Christmas Holtzmann. I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

**< <~~~~~~~>>**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I really wanted to do a Christmas one last year but it didn’t work out, so I’m thankful for this Holtzbert Secret Santa opportunity to get my butt in gear.  
> If you liked it, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for the comments and kudos! xoxo


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